The reason I thought that I had given
up my beliefs is that I had given up all the 'big' ones, like god,
and like uh, well, god. That's about it. I haven't looked at this
closely enough to really see that the beliefs that I hold are way
more extensive than just believing in a god or a religion. Beliefs
are anything that we take for granted as the truth without actually
looking at what it is we believe to see if these beliefs can stand in
the physical. Many beliefs start out as ideas that can be identified
within the point that they are supported with justifications or
self-righteousness within one's mind. Another way to see if one is
operating from a starting point of a belief is if one is
defensiveness whenever this belief is challenged.
There is one belief that I would like
to look at that I created from a starting point of a desire. I had a
desire to relieve 'boredom', so I came up with the idea that 'If I
walk around from room to room I can relieve this boredom by looking
at the different qualities of each room and then comparing them',
then I actually did this and felt relief from boredom. Then, that
reinforced this idea to such an extent that it became a belief where
I believed this idea to be true and real. But in reality, I was just
playing games with myself to relieve a feeling that I myself created
within my own mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to be directed by beliefs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to hold beliefs without testing them in the
physical to see if they really stand outside of the ideas, pictures,
desires, justifications, and self-righteousness of my own mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe what my parents told me and then try to
repeat it and live it in my own life without testing what they tell
me within common sense and the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe in my heritage.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to be directed by beliefs instead of directing
myself as the breath in common sense in every moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to turn an idea into a belief because I wanted it
to be true because it filled my desire to have a certain energetic
reaction within self, like feeling safe, or feeling excited, or
feeling happy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe in a god because believing in a god
made me feel happy, and safe, and righteous.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe in a god because it is my heritage.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe in a god because my parents told me so.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to want to believe in something / to make it real
and true from a self-righteous perspective.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to justify an idea that emerged within self and
make self 'right' within this idea thus fueling this idea to become a
belief that self holds.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to take an idea and then turn it into a belief
through self-justifications and self-righteousness that I had
attached to the initial idea, and within this process attach
'emotional bodies' existent within the self-justifications and
self-righteousness thoughts.
I forgive myself that for accepting and
allowing myself to emotionally charge ideas to a point where I would
'believe it to be true' from the starting point that this belief
supports me emotionally, as a mind-consciousness system – such as
the belief in a god, or a believing that my country is the free-est
country or the best country, or my product or service is the best
product or service – because believing these things makes my feel
good and safe and righteous / right therefore secure about who I am
and my position and what it is that I have justified myself to do,
be, and become within this system as it is.
To be continued...
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