Friday, March 21, 2014

Day 151 - Don't Tread On Me

So, there is another incidence of 'holy shit, that could cost me some money' in my life and occupation. 

There is a certain situation at work where I overlooked a point, a very understandable and minor point to overlook; and then combined with the fact that I have another one of those super-picky customers along with a contract that supports his 'side' where he could technically force me to replace a couple very expensive items, I immediately went into a fear reaction.  I also became angry that this customer could be so picky and self-centered.

So, I belittled this customer in my thoughts, in my self talk in my mind and out loud, and also in conversation with another guy I work with.  I went on a rant for about an hour.  I referred to the customer as 'rain-man' insinuating that he must be autistic because of his position where he actually wants me to replace very expensive items for arguably minor and insignificant issues - issues so insignificant that it can be argued within common sense that these issues don't even really exist. 

I felt better about myself by calling him 'rain-man' (like in the movie Rain-man that came out in the early 90s).  I felt superior as if I was better than my customer, in a way, from the point that he's obviously got some kind of a problem.  I also felt relieved to be able to express myself in this way.  Referring to my customer as 'rain-man' was like a point of release where I was like blowing-off steam, making myself feel better about myself within the point of entertaining myself with my own humor, and also blaming my customer within the point of 'he's got some sort of social problem and has nothing to do with me.'

So why did I accept and allow myself to react this way?  Who am I within this?  Is this reaction really an effective way to deal with this situation?  Is this really the other guys problem, or is it really something within self that I am not looking at?  Where am I within all this?  Why do I believe that it is necessary for me to react in some way when faced with these situations?  Why don't I just slow down and breathe and look for the most common sense resolution and simply decide to find the most agreeable solution for both parties and simply face the fact that this could cost me money without reacting in fear or anger or any sense of inferiority?  Why do I go into these types of reactions while I at the same time have a I have sense of awareness that these reactions are not necessary, damaging to my physical body, and work to further enslave me to my mind?  Why? 
I will look into all this in my next post.

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