Day 149 – The Divine Inner Self as Guide – Where will that lead you? Part IV

Looking at 'The Divine Inner Self as Guide'

In this writing, I am addressing, within self-forgiveness, the questions asked in Day 146, and basically answering the question of 'who am I within seeing self as the divine inner guide?”

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am my own divine inner guide because that brought me hope that I could be my own solution and that it also made me feel better about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe in the divine inner guide within because it sounds spiritual and I have positively charged the word and idea of spiritual / spirituality as positive and good and as the solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with excitement to the phrase 'divine inner guide' because I had already preprogrammed myself to do so within positively charging spirituality and anything related to spirituality by making it into something good and right, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved and directed by reactions, and emotions, and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I can be my own guide within and as self-honesty and common sense, and that I do not have to pretend or believe that I am 'divine' and that I am my own inner guide to do so. And within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that simply believing in myself as a 'divine inner guide' without defining and exploring exactly what that means and is, within common sense and a physically verifiable application, then that will lead me into following my emotions and feelings as guides – where I follow my feelings and resist my emotions within the belief that my feelings are my divine inner guide and my emotions and fears are the parts of me that I need to suppress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe in myself as this 'great divine all-knowing inner guide / self', instead of just simply being 'here' and content as a living breathing physical being – and within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-honesty and self-honest common sense where one investigates one's own mind and what one has become within and as the mind, are all that one needs to be able to support self within the point of being a guide – and that this does not require divinity or the idea / belief of being divine to do this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only 'the divine' can be a guide and that within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set-up a hierarchy of superior and inferior beings where only superior and divine beings can act as guides to the rest of us lowly inferior beings who are lost and completely dependent on superior beings. And within this belief, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to render myself helpless as I have put myself into the inferior category. And within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited at the idea that I too can be a god / superior / guide being if I just believe in myself as a divine-inner guide that can guide me through my troubled waters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the idea that I really am divine and that I have just forgotten about this and that all I need to do is remember who I really am as this great divine being that is being tested in this earthly life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by the emotional and feeling reactions that I have towards hearing the various spiritual beliefs where some beliefs cause emotional reactions that I then want to resist and others cause feeling reactions where I am attracted to them and want to believe in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe in myself as this 'divine inner guide' because of how I want to see myself as this 'special divine being who is just lost for the moment but has this great potential and destiny and purpose just waiting to be discovered'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in so much fear and the feeling of powerlessness to do anything about that what I fear, that when I hear the words 'divine inner guide' I become excited within the point that I have hope in my own personal power. And within this, I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I still don't believe in myself even when I believe I am my own divine inner guide because if I did believe in myself I would not have to believe that I am anything other that who I am right here in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that who I am as my own guide is right here in every breath, where I self-honestly explore myself as the mind and that what I fear and then I use common sense to sort-out my 'problems' and find solutions and then walk the solutions – and that this does not require a belief system in me being something that I am not and cannot verify within common sense.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that it is not self-honest and it is not common sense to believe that I am this 'divine-inner guide'. And within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that it is self-honest and it is common sense to see that I am in-fact a physical being that is here within and as a physical world where solutions to my 'problems' can be walked in real-time in my physical environment.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that by believing myself to be this divine-inner guide, that I am making myself into an idea / picture image and that this bubble can be burst within this physical reality when and as times get tough again, and that when this happens I will be left with myself in a negative experience of loss that I myself created.

To be Continued...