I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that ‘I am confused’ when I think of writing and what to write out in self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotional experience of being intimidated of writing because of my participation in the thought that ‘I am confused with exactly what to write about and how to go about it”.
I forgive myself that I have, within my emotional experience of being intimidated of writing because of my participation in the thought that I am confused with exactly what to write and how to go about writing out specific points, accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with other activities.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought that ‘I am confused at what to write and how to go about writing a certain point’ to the emotional experience of resistance towards writing; and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then therefore ‘feel’ as if I cannot write out any particular point in the ‘limited time’ that I perceive that I have.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive my time as limited because I believe that I need lots of time to write out the points because of my participation in the thought that ‘I am confused about what to write and exactly how to go about writing out specific points’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought/belief ‘that I cannot write because of my being confused as to where to begin and how to go about my writing and therefore need more time to write than what is available to me because of my confusion’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat wherein I talk to myself, in my head, about a specific point until I become confused as to what it is exactly that I am seeing/needing to be addressed in the first place, and thus I create my own experience of ‘confusion’ and feeling of being ‘locked-up’ as where to start with my writings because of my thinking too much about a certain point rather than just breathing and being here sitting down and writing about a specific point within and as the breath as me directing me here in every moment of breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my ability to be self-honest and introspective as ‘poor and insufficient’ because of memories of past experiences which, because of my participation in over thinking a point and judging my ability to explore a point as poor and insufficient and the following experience of confusion, resulted in the actual experience of being incapable of writing and self-introspection in self-honesty thus proving to myself that I am in fact incapable of writing myself out in self-honesty effectively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become forgetful of certain points and what it is exactly that I wanted to explore in self-honesty because of my participation in back chat, wherein I am talking to myself within my own head up to a point where I no longer know exactly what it is that I was seeing in the first place.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to critique the quality of my self-forgiveness statements before I actually write them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to critique the quality of my self-forgiveness statements as bad and insufficient, from the perspective of an imagined third party and within this become intimidated of writing these points out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my self-forgiveness statements as inadequate before I actually write them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that I am not able to dig through my mind in self-honesty effectively enough to expose the points in the proper detail that is required for me to effectively walk myself out of my mind and into breath, equality, and oneness, unto completion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought that ‘I am not able to retrieve the specific memories’ that are required for me to explore myself within self-honesty to adequately release myself from the mind constructs, patterns, memories, behaviors that have become me.
When and as I see myself going into the thought that ‘I am not able to and/or do not have the time to effectively retrieve memories, sort out memories and experiences in self-honesty’, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to participate in this backchat because I see, realize, and understand that this backchat is not me, it is not real unless I give it life by my participation in it; and therefore I stop and breathe in that moment until I am clear and then if I practically in-fact have time to write, I write out the memories as they become clear to me as I remain here in and as breath, and if I do not have the time to write practically, I simply await a point in time when I do have time to write.
When and as I see myself going into the thought that I am confused as to what to write about and how to write out my points in self-honesty, I stop my participation in those thoughts and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to participate in thoughts of any kind where I am judging myself negatively or positively for any reason because I see, realize, and understand that these thoughts are self-created of me as my mind and are not real in fact. What is real is that I am here, as life, in the physical birthing myself as life so long as I am sorting myself out, stopping my mind, and breathing.
When and as I see myself going into the emotional experience of resistance and intimidation towards writing myself to freedom because of my participation in thoughts that ‘I am confused about what to write about and exactly how to go about writing out my points in self-honesty’, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to participate in thoughts, feelings, and emotions because I realize that I am not that. I remain here, constant, stable in and as each and every breath, stopping my mind breath by breath.
When and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed with writing out a point because as I write out a point I begin to see many tangents and additional areas to be addressed and then don’t know where to begin or believe that I do not have enough time to cover all the areas to be written out, I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to participate in thoughts that ‘I am overwhelmed because I do not have enough time’ and the feeling of being overwhelmed because I see, realize, and understand that I simply need to break my writings down, bit by bit, breath by breath, and write about as much of one aspect of a given point as time permits and then come back to the rest of it on the next writing. Furthermore, I see, realize, and understand that the importance and need of daily, or at least consistent writing, because otherwise I really would not have the time to go into all the points in the detailed specificity as required to write myself out to in-fact stop my mind and remain here in each and every breath.
More to come on this as this point is really quite massive.
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