Day 1 – Self Commitment

Right now, as we are currently existing in this world, in which we are accepting and allowing ourselves to be directed by memories, beliefs, thought patterns, judgements, fears, habits, thoughts, feelings, and emotions all of which are components of our minds and given to us by our parents, friends, family, culture, media, schooling, etc and all of which we accept and allow, without question, to form us into who we are. None of our behaviours are of who we are as life – meaning all of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be defined as and directed by has been given to us and recorded in our minds, as ourselves, and then repeated and defended as if it is who we really are.

But who are we in all of this? Who would we be if we had not the influence and knowledge and information that was given as a child up until now? Are we nothing more than memories, thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, judgements, all of which were given by your parents and our environment?

Right now we have been given an awesome opportunity to assist and support ourselves within a process to realize ourselves as life, free from all constructs of mind that are merely handed down to us as patterns to be repeated. However, because of the extensive nature of our pre-programming, to stop and step out of one’s pre-programmed mind requires and demands extensive self-discipline and a commitment of at least 7 years of daily application in applying the tools necessary to truly stop one’s mind and realize self as life wherein one directs himself here in every moment of breathe free from any outside influence based in memories, beliefs, patterns, emotions, feelings, etc.

This is what it means to “realize self as life” – to live here in and as the breath in every moment as the directive principle behind all of ones actions wherein memories, thoughts, emotions, feelings, beliefs, judgements do not exist (except perhaps on a practical level), let alone influence you in any way whatsoever, where every breath you take is an expression of self-directed living.

So, I hereby commit myself to 7 years or more of daily application using the tools of self-honesty, self-forgiveness, corrective application to identify all patterns existent within my mind and rescript myself to assist with stopping those patterns, and also to use breathing as a grounding point to stabilize myself while I literally breath through all identified thought patterns until they are gone.

And within this, I would like to look at the word “commitment” as commitment is a word I fear because of my resistance to remain committed in the past even in this process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from committing myself to a process of recreating myself as life which starts with stopping my mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, beliefs, judgements, comparisons, etc because I fear not being able to follow through because of memories of my so doing so in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word “commitment” with a negative value because of memories of prior commitments not always working out and my becoming cynical of commitments because of my self judgement.

I forgive myself that because I have charged the word ‘commitment’ with a negative value that I have resisted using this word as much as possible because then I would not have to face myself when, in fact, I don’t honor a commitment to myself or others thereby I am avoiding facing a point of lack of self-trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘commitment.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘commitment’ because of a lack of self-trust that I have developed within myself because of memories of past ‘commitments’ that I have not held.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist ‘commitment’ because I do not trust myself to ‘stay committed’ because of memories that I have not released myself from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to break ‘commitments’ in the past both to myself and to others.

I forgive myself that I fear ‘commitment’ to this process because of my participation within the thoughts that I do not have what it takes to stay on track for 7 years or more to birth myself as life.’

I forgive myself that I have resisted committing to this process because of my participation within the thought that I do not want to set myself up for failure.

I forgive myself that I have resisted committing to the process because of my participation within the thought there are certain aspects of my mind consciousness system that I do not want to expose or give up, especially the secret mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my resistance and fear of committing to this process is a point of self sabotage wherein I am accepting and allowing myself to remain here in my mind because of my fear of facing my fears, in which I am thereby supporting all the abuse in this world which is one and equal with what I accept and allow within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to embrace ‘commitment’ as me as a point of self-support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put-off the points that I see and realize need to be addressed and corrected because of my participation in my self-created resistance to commitment.

When and as I see myself resisting the application of commitment I stop, I breath and move myself through the resistance by doing that which I resist while utilizing breath as a support and grounding mechanism to remain here not controlled by memories of the past. I realize that by giving in and resisting my commitment to my process of birthing myself as life I then support my own self dishonesty and all abuse in this world which is a reflection of what I accept and allow within and as my own mind.

WORD: Commitment

Allocation Point: I have been resisting commitments because of my memories of failed or partially executed commitments and within avoiding commitments I am really avoiding facing that point within myself of not always following through.

Websters Definition: Commitment – an act of committing a charge or trust; an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; something pledged.

Sounding:

Co-mit-ment: co mit = 2 gloves / players

ment – as in 'meant'

commit – to pledge to do something & “meant” – I meant to do what I said (hence way out within the sounding of the word).

Comet – something huge falling from the sky that is wondrous and possibly dangerous.

Co-might – with might

mint – refreshing

Word association based definition: 2 individuals (players associated in sporting/competition event) previously made an understanding (meant) that could be grave, dangerous and big (comet), but yet has some positive value to it as well (mint), and of course it is never to be taken too seriously (meant...).

Charge given to this word by me: negative/to be resisted. I always feel a bit uneasy when engaging or potentially engaging in a commitment of any kind, big or small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word commitment as something big / bigger than me / bigger than I can handle in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a memories of me not following through with commitments with the experience of others or myself being disappointed to the thought of 'I would rather not commit to something if I do not have to.'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to memories of me not following through with commitments with the experience of disappointment from myself or others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined my ability to follow through with commitments within memories of my failing to do so in the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the act of commitment through defining my ability to hold and honor commitments within memories of me failing to do so in the past with the experience of others and myself being disappointed in me, in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the word and act of commitment because of my participation within the thought and self-definition that I have realized I have given the word 'commitment' through word associations, revealing my seeing a commitment as being something bigger than me / than what I can handle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotion of “uneasiness and fear” or rather “anxiety” to memories of me not succeeding in commitments that I would rather forget by not putting myself in similar situations that could bring about another failed or partially executed commitment.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that within my participation in anxiety, fear, and uneasiness towards commitments whereby I resist commitments, I thereby refuse to face myself on this point and, therefore, actually manifest myself as that what I fear – one who does not follow through with commitments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word commitment as 'negative/bad' in separation from myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word 'commitment' as bad/negative within my own mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'commitment' through judging the word commitment as bad/negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate commitments with competition.

When and as I see myself going into fear of commitments because of my participation in memories of past commitments that I have not supported myself to see through until completion, I stop, I breath. I do not accept and allow myself to fear commitments because of my past. I live here, in and as breath; I stabilize myself with the the breath until I am clear and then proceed to the required task.

When and as I see myself telling myself that I must resist commitments because I will then set myself up for failure in comparison to other commitments that I have made and “failed”, I stop, I breath. I do not allow backchat to exist within and as me regarding commitments. Instead, I live here in and as the breath in every moment.

When and as I see myself reacting with anxiety to the word commitment because of my charging the word as negative/bad, I stop. I breath. I realize that commitment only has a value that I assign it and therefor clear myself and remain here as breath not charging the word as good/positive or negative/bad; but rather see each and every commitment or potential commitment for what it is based on its consequential outflows within what is best for all in common sense.

Creative Writing:

• An agreement that I make with another or with myself to perform a task or obligation;
• making the choice to bring a particular decision to the present tense as a living expression of myself for a predesignated period of time.
• Living and integrating a pledge or agreement made to self or another as myself here in every moment of breath.

Commitment: Redefined (what the word IS):

Living and integrating a pledge or agreement made, to self or another, as an expression of self here in every moment of breath, whereby one does what is required or plans time to do what is required within the context of following through to completion of the said agreement or pledge.