Thursday, December 26, 2013

Day 103 – Self-Forgiveness On Satisfaction and Fulfillment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define this constant, underlying, nagging feeling that something is not right as 'boredom'



I forgive myself that I have defined myself as bored and the experience of myself as boring.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word boring as negative/bad in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into desire/want for something more than what is here because I have defined my experience of what is here as boring, in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not fulfilled because I participate in this experience of a nagging feeling that 'somethings missing' and 'I need something more' – as if I am always 'empty' which is the starting point of not being ful-FILLED and the negative polarity of fulfillment.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word fulfillment as positive/good, and to judge the word unfulfilled as negative/bad. And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my experience of myself withing this constant nagging feeling that something is not right and I need something more as being 'unfulfilled', within the negative polarity of the mind and energy.



Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by the desire for a positive polarity experience in the search for something more 'out there' to fulfill myself, instead of realizing that I am just simply 'here' and ignoring the psychical reality that I am simple 'here' already fulfilled.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the 'fool' who seeks to be filled, not realizing that within living that, I am living the starting point of unfulfillment, all within separation, within the mind – ignoring the physical reality of what is actually 'here'.



I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from right 'here' by believing that being right 'here' is not fulfilling because I have participated in the nagging feeling that I need something more than what is 'right here' and defined it as boring and unfullfilling, separate from myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the starting point for this entire boredom construct, which leads to me creating and then chasing desires to fulfill myself, comes from my participating in thoughts that arise within my mind that 'something is not right, and I need something more than what is here' that then lead to the negative energetic experience of the feeling of boredom that I alone create within myself through my participation in the mind. And thus I forgive myself that I have not considered that within this, I can never be fulfilled or satisfied within anything 'out there' because everything 'out there' merely brings me a positive energetic experience that only ends and leaves me back at my starting point of emptiness and lacking.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word satisfy as positive/good, in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my experience of myself as 'satisfied' or not satisfied'.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I can never be satisfied so long as I am seeking satisfaction from something 'out there'



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my experience of myself and my life with someone else's life and perceived experience of themselves, and then be 'unsatisfied' or even 'satisfied' based on how I rate myself within this comparison.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by pictures in my mind and to be satisfied only at the fulfillment of these pictures of what kind of life I should be living.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed by TV and culture as to what kind of life is a satisfying life and that I need to be satisfied.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not satisfied.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and create a negative experience of myself within defining myself as not satisfied.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'not satisfied'



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the negative polarity of not being satisfied, which then pulls me to create a positive experience of myself within being satisfied.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word 'satisfy' by not living satisfaction as who I am in every breath, and instead running from the negative charge associated with the self-created experience and definition of not being satisfied towards the positive experience of being satisfied within things 'out there' that I have defined as satisfying, in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that my desire to be satisfied originates from my lack of satisfaction, all of which I create within and as my experience of myself within the mind, within energy, within polarity. And thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself trap and limit myself within the mind, within believing that my experience of myself can actually fluctuate within the positive/negative polarity of feelings and emotions outside of what I give my away power to.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the energetic fluctuations of the mind wherein I become subject to the energetic feelings and emotions and whims of the mind, instead of reaming right 'here' in every breath simply deleting the thoughts, feelings, and emotions as they come up, taking my power back.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having a negative experience of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to define myself as satisfied or fulfilled.

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