Saturday, December 28, 2013

Day 104 – Self-Corrective Application on This Pattern of Desire and Boredom

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to I realize and accept that who I am is 'here' and that I am equal and one to all that is here.



I realize that accept that who I am is 'here' and that I am equal and one to all that is here through my breathing, and thus I commit myself to breathing naturally, being 'here' as self-presence and self-awareness within and as everything that I touch.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize and accept everything outside of self as within self already, and therefore there is no need to 'go there' and 'do that' in order to bring me something or some experience that I already am and have.



Thus, I commit myself to speak self forgiveness in the moment that I have desires to be anywhere but here, and breathe and realize my self-presence and self-awareness 'here' within the application of breathing and stopping my mind.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize and understand that the nagging feeling that 'something is not right' and 'I need something more than what is right here' is of the mind, and that participating in these thoughts leads me into/creates manifests an experience of boredom and restlessness, that I then define as 'boredom' within the statement 'I am bored' which then leads me into desires to fill myself with something 'out there' that can alleviate this 'boredom', all of which is of the mind and the energy of thoughts and emotions which I alone create as my experience of myself and of which takes me into the mind separate from what is actually 'here'.



And thus,



I commit myself to taking my directive power back by speaking self-forgiveness in the moment that I have any backchat that 'I need something more than what is here' or an emotional experience of boredom or restlessness because I see, realize, and understand that it is not really what is 'here' and that this experience is of the mind.



I commit myself to, instead of going into the mind as a solution for this experience of needing something more than what is here, breathing deeply at first, and then naturally so as to lead myself back into the breath and stop the mind and then focus my attention on what is here, how things feel, how my body feels, until the energy of this pattern subsides and I can remain here stable in need of no-thing.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need something to fill me or fulfill me, and that I have been living a life of desire to have the ultimate experience so that I can feel fulfilled – and within that I forgive myself that I have been living for an energetic experience that never can really fulfill me or complete me because the energy of the experience always subsides and then I am left with nothing – I am left with the negative energy experience of nagging and wanting something more.



And thus I commit myself to stopping this cycle of self-abuse within chasing the positive energy and running from the negative energy of and created by the mind and my participation in my mind, like a dog chasing his tail – I stop, I breathe, and I realize that I am here already in need of nothing to satisfy me, to complete me, or to fulfill me.



I realize that boredom does not exist.



I realize that restlessness does not exist.



I realize that the need to be or do anything to make me feel better about my experience of myself is of the mind and that by chasing this I am giving my power away to the mind, so that I can chase energy and the experience thereof, of which leaves me with nothing. So, I stop.



I realize that by chasing a positive experience of energy that I then give my directive power away and thus loose time to do things that are the most self-responsible, which then leads to outburst of anger as a result of the compounded energy/emotions of feeling guilty for wasting my time. And within this I realize that by chasing the positive and running from the negative, I am being self-dishonest in every-way, which leads to more problems within and as the mind, and emotions and feelings.



I realize, that I am here, already in need of nothing.

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