Day 105 – Mind Realizations vs. Realizations Walked in Real Time

Looking back, I see that I went through a period of merely having mind-realizations instead of real realizations walked in real-time through writing and also applying what I write when and as the patterns are recurring in order to really stop them. Mind realizations come in the form of 'ah-ha' moments where one has a realization in a moment that one is acting within a pattern, or reacting, etc and not here breathing, yet one does not take the time to sit down and work through that point on paper with self-forgiveness and then apply the corrective application to both expand one's awareness of the point and then truly stop.

I was going through a time where I felt that I would be 'wasting time' if I were to go back and write out the points/realizations that I would have in a moment of time because I was already there, so to speak. Yet, there was no real change occurring as the points would inevitably come up again.

So, I was just fooling myself and setting myself up for massive time-loops.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in mind-realizations, meaning realizations of the mind and not of me walked in real-time of and resulting in a real self-awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that certain points are not 'worth' writing out. And within that I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that a simple 'ah-ha' moment is not a true realization, but of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am making any progress settling for mind realizations.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that an 'ah-ha' moment is of the mind as a result of my programming with knowledge and information, and that I have been 'falling' for this due to my own laziness and resistance to process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can 'fall' for something which is a way to blame something else for my own acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to short-cut process instead of working through my points of laziness and resistance to process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the realization that resistance only exists within and as the mind, and therefore can be changed through self-forgiveness and corrective application walked in real-time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for mind realizations believing them to be real so as to justify my position of not wanting to participate in process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist process because it is not stimulating and then to have my mind aid me in this resistance by offering-up mind realizations in the form of 'ah-ha' moments in place of real realizations that come from writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life directed by running to positive energy/stimulation and running from negative energy/boredom, and to as a result find ways to fool myself into chasing the positive/stimulative as a way to not have to face myself.

When and as I have a mind realizations 'ah-ha' moment, I stop my participation in the identified pattern or emotion or feeling through breathing, and then I make a mental note or even a written note, and then return to write that point out at a latter time. I then, through writing self forgiveness and then walking the correction in real-time, really stop and change myself through the application of real realizations that come from slowing myself down and pulling a point apart so that I can see everything of that point for what it really is.

And thus, I commit myself to slowing myself down through breathing and then writing self-forgiveness so that I can see all the dimensions of a point so that I can walk the proper self-correction in real-time from a starting point of real self-awareness – and really stop myself as the mind, and birth myself as life, here from the physical, in this life.

I commit myself to not settling for a simple 'ah-ha' moment.

I commit myself to pushing through my resistances and applying myself